Post hier alles wat rond werk te maken heeft.

Survival Guide voor op het werk

werken sucks

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Monster Magnet - Powertrip

Who's gonna teach you how to dance?
Who's gonna show you how to fly?
Who's gonna call you on the lame-dope-smoking,
Slackin' little sucker you are?

Who's gonna get you from behind?
Who's gonna ring your little bell?
Who's gonna con you into buying a television set revolution they sell?

When are you gonna blow the game?
When are you gonna blow the screen?
When will you tell them that the crap doesn't last
And you found a way to make your own dreams

The crap doesn't last and you found a way to make yourself scream

Well I died a million times
And I picked my culture well
And I built myself a gate
They can all now go to hell

I'm never gonna work another day in my life
The gods told me to relax
They said I'm gonna be fixed up right
I'm never gonna work another day in my life
I'm way too busy powertripping
But I'm gonna shed you some light

Get down!

Who's gonna teach you how to dance?
Who's gonna show you how to fly?
When you get tired of the crap baby move over here and maybe buy some of
mine

I'm never gonna work another day in my life
The gods told me to relax
They said I'm gonna be fixed up right
I'm never gonna work another day in my life
I'm way too busy powertripping
But I'm gonna shed you some light

I'm never gonna work another day in my life
The gods told me to relax
They said I'm gonna be fixed up right
I'm never gonna work another day in my life
I'm way too busy powertripping
But I'm gonna shed you some light

[size=6]3600 Euro per uur verdienen ? Het kan ! [/size]

[size=2]De oplossing:[/size][size=1]Stel dat U een stuk van één euro ziet liggen. U raapt dat op. Dat kost U pakweg 1 seconde.
Dat wil zeggen één Euro per seconde. Per uur is dat dus 3600 Euro.
Het komt er alleen op aan genoeg stukjes van één euro te vinden[/size]
[size=2]Zo simpel is het ![/size]

Een werknemer belt zijn baas op om verlof te krijgen:
- "Er is een baby op komst"
's anderendaags vraagt de baas
- "En is het een jongen of een meisje ?"
- "Dat weten we pas binnen 9 maand."

Eentje in 't Engels, vanwege een kleine vertaalmoeilijkheid.

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.

"John," the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, "Look, I don"t know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don"t call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that"s all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling."

"Okay, Darl..."
"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."

Ik kijk vanaf juni aan tegen maanden werkloosheid. En ik ben dan nog optimistisch ingesteld... Brrrr, de arbeidsmarkt sucks!

4 golden tips for success in business / keeping your work ...


Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with the newspaper in their hands look like they're heading for the bathroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.


Use computers to look busy. Any time you use a computer, it looks like work to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, calculate your finances and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that everybody from the computer revolution expected but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss--and you will get caught--your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use the new software, thus saving valuable training dollars. You're not a loafer, you're a self-starter. Offer to show your boss what you learned. That will make your boss scurry away like a frightened salamander.


Messy desk. Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like you're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.


Voice mail. Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing-- they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's the way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour. That way, you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel. If you diligently employ the method of screening incoming calls and then returning calls when nobody is there, this will greatly increase the odds that they will give up or look for a solution that doesn't involve you. The sweetest voice mail message you can ever hear is "Ignore my last message. I took care of it." If your voice mailbox has a limit on the number of messages it can hold, make sure you reach that limit frequently. One way to do that is to never erase any incoming messages. If that takes too long, send yourself a few messages. Your callers will hear a recorded message that says, "Sorry, this mailbox is full"--a sure sign that you are a hardworking employee in high demand.

Optimistisch blijven hé !

Op één mei gaan de grenzen open voor oostblokkers en kunnen die hier al de langdurig openstaande jobs invullen tegen laag loon.
Positief is dat zoiets op zich de economie lichtjes aanzwengeld. Het spreekt echter vanzelf dat ze ook concurentie zijn voor bestaande jobs.

Ga maar klagen bij Verhofstadt.

Massas tijd om eens een lange reis te ondernemen? ;)

Wanneer een baas over verhoging van productiviteit praat,
waarom heeft hij het dan nooit over zichzelf?

Tijd wel, geld da's een andere zaak... :?

Mja, ik denk niet dat de doorsnee Oostblokker hier een job in mijn vakgebiedzal komen inpikken tegen een laag loon. Er zijn daar gewoon amper jobs weg te geven...

Die stomme 9 maanden wachttijd, da's pas ambetant. Nu moet ik terug thuis gaan wonen, zonder inkomen. :?

Ge gaat er precies van uit dat ge lang gaat moeten zoeken naar werk. Al aan gedacht om zelf iets te beginnen?

Ik denk niet dat ik een groot ondernemerstalent ben, Tompie.

Tegenwoordig moeten alle universitairen lang zoeken naar werk. Nu ja, iedereen eigenlijk. Het gaat niet denderend op de arbeidsmarkt...

Ondernemen is risico nemen en er vooral veel tijd voor over hebben. Daarenboven moet je er nog de capaciteiten voor hebben en er vooral tegen kunnen dat je door sommigen zeer scheef bekeken wordt als je succesvol bent.