Politics.be - Arnold Schwarzenegger Chief Nut News Item

Arnold Schwarzenegger Chief Nut News Item:

California Governor elect, Arnold Schwarzenegger, has just announced
an agreement whereby English will remain the official language of
California rather than his native German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the "Terminator's" first improvements, Californians
conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and have accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Terminator-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this
will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words
like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling! . Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan
be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors
be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no mortrubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech
ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen Arnold wil tak over ze
world!

GUTEN TAG!