Inside A 'Batterers Program' for 'Abused' Women
by Nev Moore
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I found it repulsive. And yet this is where I was ordered to go for
"treatment" to "raise my self-esteem." Some women had been away from
their ex's for six to eight years, yet continued to go to the meetings.
It was like their victim hood was an all encompassing identity. They
were addicted to being a "victim" so people would feel sorry for them.
Many said that although their husbands never actually abused or
controlled them, they didn't always agree with them. So that was
abusive. Many other women said, "I never knew I was being abused until I
came to Independence House." [Hmmm...]
One woman who was not being abused, but I guess was just lonely, would
often talk for the entire two hours. She was very loud and aggressive,
constantly interrupting others. She told us that she was taking night
courses, and her (male) teacher had asked her to stop interrupting and
dominating the classroom. She proudly told us that she called him at his
home and informed him in no uncertain terms that he had verbally abused
her. It was easy to understand why she was lonely. The support group was
like a social club for her, where she had a hostage audience.
There were other women who were, as my teenagers say, right
off-the-loop. They were so intense and obsessive that they frightened
me. Some would rock on the floor and wail, or curl into a fetal position
and cry loudly throughout the
meeting. One wanted to go to court and get a court order to have her ex
sterilized so that he could never have children with another woman.
Another (divorced from her ex) wanted to know where his P.O. box was."
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http://www.fatherhoodcoalition.org/c...pHouse0307.htm