Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven

[Recitator]

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him on the seventh day, resting.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards
through the clouds : "Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God raving, "and I've put LIFE on it.
I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused. God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity
and wealth while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there
will be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent
of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued,
pointing to different countries.
"This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.
I'll have lush forests over there and deserts down there"
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a small landmass and said "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "I'm Glad you asked. That's Belgium! The most glorious place on Earth.
There are beautiful lakes, rivers, streams and hills. The people from Belgium are going to be modest,
intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world.
They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout
the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. Best of all I'm giving them the very best of food and drinks"
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said
there will be balance!"
God replied with a cheeky grin "Wait until you see the wankers I'm putting next to them in Holland."

[The Paulus Experience]

Whohahaha