De Tiger Woods SMS service

[Monocle]

Tiger: Sent: 05:46 PM 07/30/2009:
Heading back from the course now.

Tiger:Sent: 05:52 PM 07/30/2009:
How close are you

Tiger:Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
I will leave an envelope at the front desk under ms daniels. Your room will be 305. Get settled and let me know when you are ready to see me. I will be i

Tiger:Sent: 06:01 PM 07/30/2009:
n room 201. You can come down the stair well next to your room. Make sure absolutely no one sees you

Tiger:Sent: 06:17 PM 07/30/2009:
Just so you know i have to get up at 415 tomorrow.

Tiger:Sent: 07:30 PM 07/30/2009:
Just let me know when you are headed down

Tiger:Sent: 09:46 PM 07/30/2009:
What time is car picking you up tomorrow

Tiger:Sent: 01:14 AM 07/31/2009:
Yes

Tiger:Sent: 01:27 AM 07/31/2009:
Did you get lost. Door is open

Tiger:Sent: 02:16 PM 07/31/2009:
What time do you leave. Im trying to leave. Im trying to get back

Tiger:Sent: 03:57 PM 07/31/2009:
Will back in 5. Let me take a shower and i will text you after

Tiger:Sent: 04:18 PM 07/31/2009:
Oh i know. Not at all. Just glad and suprised i can do that to you Im all clean. Come on down

Tiger:Sent: 04:22 PM 07/31/2009:
Hurry

Tiger:Sent: 05:08 PM 07/31/2009:
I'm glad you came out

Tiger:Sent: 06:36 PM 07/31/2009:
Awesome baby. Be Safe

Tiger:Sent: 03:13 AM 08/01/2009:
Thank you sexy

Tiger:Sent: 06:34 AM 08/06/2009:
In ohio playing

Tiger:Sent: 05:54 AM 08/09/2009:
I told you im playing these two weeks

Tiger:Sent: 06:50 PM 08/09/2009:
In about a month

Tiger:Sent: 06:51 PM 08/09/2009:
Maybe sooner. Can't talk now. Will text when i can

Tiger:Sent: 01:53 PM 08/13/2009:
Me to

Tiger:Sent: 10:27 AM 08/20/2009:
I hope not. So you have been with others huh since

Tiger:Sent: 10:35 AM 08/23/2009:
I hope so

Tiger:Sent: 10:45 PM 08/23/2009:
Not a bad thing thinking about me

Tiger:Sent: 11:00 PM 08/23/2009:
I totally agree

Tiger:Sent: 11:03 PM 08/23/2009:
In conn

Tiger:Sent: 11:07 PM 03/23/2009:
Ditto

Tiger:Sent: 11: 08 PM 08/23/2009:
I like when you do that to me

Tiger:Sent: 11:11 PM 08/23/2009:
Ditto sexy

Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/28/2009:
I want to be deep inside you

Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/28/2009:
Maybe in two weeks in chicago

Tiger:Sent: 03:19 PM 08/29/2009:
I need that so bad

Tiger:Sent: 03;29 PM 08/29/2009:
Now

Tiger:Sent: 03:30 PM 08/29/2009:
Me to. I would wear you out

Tiger:Sent: 03:32 PM 08/29/2009:
I have no idea. I would love to have the ability to make you sore

Tiger:Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
In a week. I will try to wear you out

Tiger:Sent: 03:36 PM 08/29/2009:
After i cum you better start sucking my cock to get it hard

Tiger:Sent: 03:37 PM 08/29/2009:
Do you ever hook up with other guys or girls

Tiger:Sent: 03:41 PM 08/29/2009:
You didnt answer the question

Tiger:Sent: 03:43 PM 08/29/2009:
Ok. I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust

Tiger:Sent: 03:48 PM 08/29/2009:
Does that excite you at all or no

Tiger:Sent: 03:52 PM 08/29/2009:
God girl. You better want to take care of me

Tiger:Sent: 03:56 PM 08/29/2009:
You do. Need more of it

Tiger:Sent: 03:59 PM 08/29/2009:
of you

Tiger:Sent: 04"02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you

Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat

Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my fucking whore

Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own

Tiger:Sent: 04:10 PM 08/29/2009:
Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise

Tiger:Sent: 04:21 PM 08/29/2009:
Where do you want to be bitten

Tiger:Sent: 04:24 PM 08/29/2009:
Ok. Now your talking. Whatever i want. You are mine

Tiger:Sent: 04:39 PM 08/29/2009:
Whatever else turns you on

Tiger:Sent: 04:43 PM 08/29/2009:
You tell me what you like

Tiger:Sent: 04:48 PM 08/29/2009:
You are. Always will be. Don't trust people

Tiger:Sent: 04:48 PM 08/29/2009:
But you still have not told me what turns you on

Tiger:Sent: 04:53 PM 08/29/2009:
I know you have tried every positing imaginable but what turns you on besides a dp

Tiger:Sent: 5:00 PM 08/29/2009:
I really do want to be rough with you. Slap you around

Tiger:Sent: 05:12 PM 08/29/2009:
For years. And punish you for not seeing me more

Tiger:Sent: 05:15 PM 08/29/2009:
I want you to beg for my cock. Kiss you all over to convince me to let you have it in your mouth

Tiger:Sent: 05:18 PM 08/29/2009:
We will see how bad you want me

Tiger:Sent: 05:26 PM 08/29/2009:
Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don't do it right i will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy

Tiger:Sent: 09:20 AM 09/03/2009:
Was playing sexy

Tiger:Sent: 04:17 AM 09/04/2009:
Maybe you can fly out to chicage on monday night and leave early wed

Tiger:Sent: 04:23 AM 09/04/2009:
I land at 930 or 10 monday night

Tiger:Sent: 11:57 AM 09/04/2009:
Great. What time so you land

Tiger:Sent: 12:06 PM 09/04/2009:
I land at the earliest at 8 and the latest will be 10

Tiger:Sent: 12:08 PM 09/04/2009:
Midway

Tiger:Sent: 01:42 AM 09/07/2009:
I cant wait to see you as well. What time do you land again

Tiger:Sent: 03:15 AM 09/07/2009:
You are going to be headed to the hyatt lodge. 2815 jorie blvd oak brook, il 60523. Phone 630 990 5800

Tiger:Sent: 11:38 AM 09/07/2009:
Did you get my text with all the info

Tiger:Sent: 11:41 AM 09/07/2009:
I will text you the room number when i get there. Im still in boston

Tiger:Sent: 11:43 AM 09/07/2009:
I have to check in to get the room

Tiger:Sent: 11:44 AM 09/07/2009:
I should get there before you anyways

Tiger:Sent: 12:27 PM 09/07/2009:
In about 3 hours

Tiger:Sent: 12:30 PM 09/07/2009:
I will be there before you for sure

Tiger:Sent: 12:35 PM 09/07/2009:
You just make sure you take care of me when you get here

Tiger:Sent: 06:28 PM 09/07/2009:
Great

Tiger:Sent: 06:30 PM 09/07/2009:
Let me know when your about 20 out i will order dinner. And what would you like to eat

Tiger:Sent: 06:33 PM 09/07/2009:
I am pretty tired after today. I am going to go to sleep early

Tiger:Sent: 06:53 PM 09/07/2009:
How close are you

Tiger:Sent: 07:09 PM 09/07/2009:
What do you want to eat

Tiger:Sent: 07:10 PM 09/07/2009:
Anything simple

Tiger:Sent: 07:12 PM 09/07/2009:
No turkey unless it's a club sandwich

Tiger:Sent: 07:32 PM 09/07/2009:
How close

Tiger:Sent: 07:38 PM 09/07/2009:
Head to the elevators and go to 334. Thats your room. The door will be open with the dead bolt. I have to get back here to wait for the food. Im in room 358.

Tiger:Sent: 07:42 PM 09/07/2009:
Let me know when you are in the room. Food just got here

Tiger:Sent: 07:47 PM 09/07/2009:
Sweet. Dont come down here yet. Lots of people in the hall. I will let you know when it clears

Tiger:Sent: 08:16 PM 09/07/2009:
Are you close to being ready

Tiger:Sent; 08:32 PM 09/07/2009:
Come on down. Its quiet here in the hall now

Tiger:Sent: 08:35 PM 09/07/2009:
There is a room service cart in my hall. Be careful

Tiger:Sent: 08:35 PM 09/07/2009:
Room358

Tiger:Sent: 09:59 PM 09/07/2009:
Make it ok

Tiger:Sent: 10:01 PM 09/07/2009:
Ok. Lights out. Good night sexy

Tiger:Sent: 08:49 AM 09/08/2009:
Hope you slept as good as i did. I just woke up which is un heard of

Tiger:Sent: 10:23 AM 09/08/2009:
So when can i have that ass again

Tiger:Sent: 12:40 PM 09/08/2009:
I will be back in a couple hours

Tiger:Sent: 12:42 PM 09/08/2009:
I have to leave for an appearance at 430 but i will be back at 730 for dinner and lots of dessert with you. How about a quickie before i go

Tiger:Sent: 01:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Have you ever had a golden shower done to you

Tiger:Sent: 01:29 PM 09/08/2009:
Just morbid curiosity

Tiger:Sent: 01:30 PM 09/08/2009:
Really. You. You have done just about everything havent you

Tiger:Sent: 01:32 PM 09/08/2009:
Never done it. I think i would get stage freight

Tiger:Sent: 02:28 PM 09/08/2009:
Maybe

Tiger:Sent: 03:38 PM 09/08/2009:
I will be over in 10mins

Tiger:Sent: 03:40 PM 09/08/2009:
Why dont you come over here now instead

Tiger:Sent: 03:41 PM 09/08/2009:
Enter thru room 360. Its next door

Tiger:Sent: 03:42 PM 09/08/2009:
Hurry so i come in that ass

Tiger:Sent: 03:54 PM 09/08/2009:
Let me know when you leave your room

Tiger:Sent: 07:32 PM 09/08/2009:
You felt amazing to baby. How much was your flight by the way

Tiger:Sent: 07:35 PM 09/08/2009:
Having a few issues at home. Might be a little later before i see you tonight

Tiger:Sent: 07:39 PM 09/08/2009:
Parent hood melt down

Tiger:Sent: 08:01 PM 09/08/2009:
How much was your flight

Tiger:Sent: 05:03 AM 09/09/2009:
Shit i fell back to sleep. just woke up. I have to leave in about 15 mins. I tee off at 700

Tiger:Sent: 07:43 PM 09/09/2009:
Great thing is we have a life time of this

Tiger:Sent: 05:44 AM 10/01/2009:
I know that. Thats why i wont do that.

Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
Baby im not going anywhere or doing anything. You please me like no other has or ever will. I'm not losing that. You have to understand people love to tal

Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
k about me. sometimes its good and sometimes its bad. I have learned to just roll with it no matter how much it upsets me when its not true. My life is a

Tiger:Sent: 06:02 PM 10/01/2009:
fish bowl

Tiger:Sent: 10:40 AM 10/04/2009:
Guys from dubai. Investors. So my agent being suggested that we go back to my room at the mansion for lunch. He doesnt know about us, obviously

Tiger:Sent: 11:31 AM 10/04/2009:
This has been a total shit trip. Im sorry i fucked up last night. And this shit. We will get it right next time so we can spend more time together.

Tiger:Sent: 12:06 PM 10/04/2009:
Oh my god. If they were with me. You would have ruined everything

Tiger:Sent: 12:07 PM 10/04/2009:
I told you. Oh my god. I cant believe what just happened

Tiger:Sent: 12:08 PM 10/04/2009:
Don't Fucking talk to me. You almost just ruined my whole life. If my agent and these guys would have seen you there, Fuck

Hij zal er wel geen SMS vinger aan over hebben gehouden zeker.
Kunnen jullie Tiger wat nieuwe SMS inspiratie geven?
Want "A Lion would never cheat on his wife but a Tiger wood"

[Jazeker]

Conclusie: je moet niet kunnen schrijven om hard te slaan met een golfstick.

[BigF]

Conclusie 2: blijkbaar wekt die Tiger Woods-hype de intresse van mensen van wie ik dat helemaal niet verwacht had.

Hebben jullie die ellenlange sms-historie echt helemaal gelezen??

[Jazeker]

Oorspronkelijk geplaatst door BigF

Conclusie 2: blijkbaar wekt die Tiger Woods-hype de intresse van mensen van wie ik dat helemaal niet verwacht had.

Hebben jullie die ellenlange sms-historie echt helemaal gelezen??

Neen... genoeg om te merken dat ie niet kan schrijven.

Ik vraag me overigens af op wie je doelt met "jullie" gezien ik de enige ben die er zelfs maar op gereageerd heb. Of het moet zijn dat je me zo hoog inschat dat een enkelvoud niet voldoende is.

[Den Ardennees]

wie is Tiger Woods?

[Jazeker]

Een tuigman.

[Retribution]

Een semi bekende bokser.

[filosoof]

Oorspronkelijk geplaatst door Den Ardennees

wie is Tiger Woods?

Eén van de best betaalde professionele golfspelers van de US.

[Jazeker]

Oorspronkelijk geplaatst door filosoof

Eén van de best betaalde professionele golfspelers van de US.

Je hebt altijd captain obvious, he.

[Xenophon]

Oorspronkelijk geplaatst door Den Ardennees

wie is Tiger Woods?

Een neger.

[Pericles]

Oorspronkelijk geplaatst door Xenophon

Een neger.

Zo te zien is hij wel ne liefhebber van dikke tetten.

[lantjes]

Oorspronkelijk geplaatst door Pericles

Zo te zien is hij wel ne liefhebber van dikke tetten.

Mogen we extrapoleren dat Xeno bijgevolg ook nen neger is?

[Jazeker]

Oorspronkelijk geplaatst door Xenophon

Een neger.

Anders kan je geen tuigman zijn, he?

[Jazeker]

Oorspronkelijk geplaatst door lantjes

Mogen we extrapoleren dat Xeno bijgevolg ook nen neger is?

Durf je een Pool zo diep te beledigen?

[lantjes]

Oorspronkelijk geplaatst door Jazeker

Durf je een Pool zo diep te beledigen?

Vanachter mijn pc? Jazeker...

[Jazeker]

Oorspronkelijk geplaatst door lantjes

Vanachter mijn pc? Jazeker...

Gebruik mijn naam niet. Xenophon is nen harde pee.

[lantjes]

Oorspronkelijk geplaatst door Jazeker

Gebruik mijn naam niet. Xenophon is nen harde pee.

't was uw naam niet, 't was een bevestiging.

[Jazeker]

Oorspronkelijk geplaatst door lantjes

't was uw naam niet, 't was een bevestiging.

Jamaar... stelt dat 'm da niet weet?

Nu ja... met nen brommer kan hij mijn wagen niet omver rijden, hoop ik?

[lantjes]

Oorspronkelijk geplaatst door Jazeker

Jamaar... stelt dat 'm da niet weet?

Nu ja... met nen brommer kan hij mijn wagen niet omver rijden, hoop ik?

nen brommer, dat is pas een belediging.

[Jazeker]

Oorspronkelijk geplaatst door lantjes

nen brommer, dat is pas een belediging.

Mja... hij vergeeft me dat wel.